Does your little one say this: "I can't mamma... I can't...."?
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"I can't mamma... I can't...." Brooklyn is getting upset. His 2.5 year old legs didn't want to walk. We had just finished our grocery shopping and the boys really wanted to go to Kmart which was on the other end of the shopping centre. "I can't mamma... I can't....Carry me!!!" I go down, and we're eye level... He is having a really hard time... He just wants to be carried. I hold his hand, and stroke his face.. "Where are you wanting to go?" I ask... "Kmart" he answered... He was standing on the spot stomping and annoyed.. repeating "I can't, I can't, I can't! CARRY ME!". "Ok... All I need you to do is walk up to that shop with the white door... We don't need to go far... just that white door..." I encouraged... So he started walking while I was holding his hand... We got to the white door, and then I said... Ok over there, the Fruit Shop... Let's just get to the fruit shop. And he kept walking. I kept doing this all the way from the Supermarket until he could see Kmart in sight. To which I said, "You can do hard things Brooklyn... ! How proud are you of your body?" And he said; "I can do it Mamma!" "You absolutely can darling! You absolutely did it!".. The intent in sharing this story isn't about a mother and how she negotiated with her 2.5-year-old to walk (and yes, it was an AMAZING win!). The intent is this. You have a goal. You don't need to know "HOW" to get there, and you really don't need the plan and each step of the way. ALL you need is just the first step forward - and the courage to take that step. What you also need is for someone to believe in you, belief in your goal that you can do it - and understand how to hold a space that is unique to you. It's not a one size fits all approach. If that was Avery at 2.5, I would be saying to him - "Oh look at these lines on the tiles... let's follow the path... and see where it leads us!". The approach with Brooklyn wouldn't have ever worked with Avery. Where people get stuck in transformation is they want to go from zero to hero, and they want it yesterday. On a scale of 1-10, if your level of connection to your Heart is a 5, all you need to do is focus on getting it to a 6. If your focus is a 10, you're being a child in a car on a road trip constantly asking; "Are we there yet? Are we there yet? Are we there yet" and getting deterred. Your impatience is costing you the foundation. That's why it's been 5, 10, 20 years... and not much has changed within. Just 1 step forward. That's it. The other thing that's holding you back is not having the guidance that will empower you or doing it alone. This is my favourite lesson to date. I invested $14,000 in a High-Performance Coach for my entrepreneurial start-up, a fashion label back in 2012. This High-Performance Coach was great at "sales" for other people's businesses and "getting people to take action". She was also a pro-body builder and competitor. I thought, amazing - she would really be able to help me as she is a high-achiever. However, she had never run a business like mine, and she had never had a successful start-up. HOWEVER, I disregarded this and didn't have the discernment - I thought "I need a High-Performance Coach". I really liked her, and I really liked the coaching company that recommended her. It was also the coaching company that ignited my love of coaching. It didn't move my business forward. It kept losing money. YES in her space I would take action, a lot of action. However it wasn't aligned action, nor was it the action that would move my business forward. It was all hustle - and hustling in the wrong direction - all the meanwhile, I was flooded with self-doubt, angst, and "I'm never-enough". I was so in love with her, loved her company, we got along really well - and it wasn't what my business needed. If I hired her for teaching me how to be bodybuild. Awesome. AMAZING investment. Incredible alignment. She had a struggling business and she was going through self-doubt as much as I was. I was more invested in our "connection" than actually really seeing it for what it is. I had no idea this was in the background..... (So if you're a coach, don't mess with people's lives. It's not a fake it till you make it game. BE the transformation that you're providing). BEST investment to date as I learnt, NEVER EVER work with someone or listen to anybody that doesn't already have what I want, walked the path that I need to walk - AND are in ALIGNMENT energetically, in Heart, Mind and Spirit with who they are. Where you are getting stuck and struggling on your path is you're either doing it alone (imagine Brooklyn needing to encourage himself and find his own way!) or not working with the aligned people who can understand the way you operate and what would work for YOU. So... If you want traction, especially in your journey of transformation... 1. What's your next step? Just 1 step. 2. Who already has what you want, is aligned to what you want, and you can trust them, feel safe in their space, and feel seen by them? Go work with that person. Learn from them. Be in their energy. It's the difference between spending a year to get to where you want vs 5, 10, or 15 years and being in the same inner reality. Yummii xx |