It has been a while!! As some of you may know, we were expecting our second towards the end of the year... and well... on 1st January 2020 - we welcomed a new addition to our family - Brooklyn Leo Nguyen!
I took a bit of time off to concentrate on the pregnancy, settling in as a new mother to a toddler and newborn; and of course, navigating the changes as husband and wife with two children... "A beginner's mindset" has been my guiding intention.
It's been just over three weeks of being a mum to two - and I'm reminded more than ever; "You can't give from an empty well!".
If you have been following The Motherhood Mindset for a while - you will know that the key message is that "Motherhood is a transformational journey to return to our place of wholeness".
Motherhood is an opportunity to learn to love and accept ourselves, bring kindness and compassion to our soul and spirit, and heal the wounds from our inner-child -
This then allows us to show up in our life from our best self.
"If you don't heal what hurt you, you will bleed on people who didn't cut you."
This couldn't be more evident than in parenthood. We can parent in one of two ways;
Now, the most common concerns that mothers are challenged with are guilt, shame, self-doubt, self-worth, a loss of identity, and self-criticism/ judgement.
There are hundreds of articles and conversations pulling for the normality of "mom-guilt"; and how motherhood is all about self-sacrifice, being a martyr, doing it all, being a hero, saving the day - and "running on empty".
It doesn't have to be that way.
The above condition of Motherhood is one borne from Fear.
Fear can only hijack your heart when there is a lack of self-love.
Our parents did the best they could with what they had and knew - I also believe we chose our parents for the lessons we want in this lifetime.
The wounds we experienced are pearls of wisdom.
These wounds are seeking liberation - and we liberate these wounds by seeing them from the lens of Love.
Hurt people, hurt people. When we can empathise, observe and get curious about the lives of our parents, our grandparents, and the generations before us - our hearts can open, and we understand why they did what they did. We are no longer unconsciously living out the same pattern and hurts.
..and most often it comes to this. They didn't love themselves - for they didn't know how to. So if you didn't love who you are, how are you to know how to give love to another in a way that they can receive it?
Creating a profound understanding of Love is critical to raising emotionally and mentally healthy children - who have healthy relationships with themselves and those around them.
Doing the inner-work, the self-enquiry and learning to be overflowing in abundance within ourselves is the best gift we can give our children, our families, our partners.
"You can't give from an empty well" - for what you're giving when your well is empty is anything but Love. It is resentment, obligation, shame, guilt, unworthiness... it is the relentless pursuit of validation and approval, and basing our self-worth on things/ people/ circumstances that are external to us.
It is the year 2020 and the start of a new decade. I invite you to make a commitment to Love Fiercely.
Love yourself, fiercely. Commit to being kind to your heart, nourish your spirit, forgive yourself, let go of resentment and forgive all that has hurt you - see the wounds of the past as wisdom to do better.
Loving yourself fiercely has a powerful flow-on effect. You are now Loving your child as an expression; your parenting is a masterpiece that you're creating.
The more you love your actions and words in parenting - the more you love yourself. The more you love yourself, the more your actions and words in parenting are from a place of joy, wonderment, and compassion.
.... and it will permeate all the other areas of your life.
So how fierce is your love? How full is your heart?
Let 2020, and this decade be a tribute to living and learning from a place of Love, and choosing "Wholeness" as your daily practice.
Sending lots of love - I can't wait to create 2020 with you.