Firstly, I apologise for last week. I missed sending out a newsletter. I started writing it and realised I had overcommitted to several things in the previous week.
I started getting short with Avery, frustrated with myself, and my writing was coming from a place of force - not love. I know these are tell-tale signs to; "stop, let-go, breathe - reassess.".
In reassessing - I checked in with my mind, body, and spirit.
I would pause, breathe, close my eyes, place my hand on my heart and ask myself the following questions.
On a scale of 1 - 10;
In reassessing, I reminded myself of what truly matters right now. There's no point in pursuing achievement at the cost of your relationship with your loved ones; and your well-being. I reassessed what I had committed to against my energy levels. Over 50% of the things I "wanted" to accomplish were dropped.
One of the biggest challenges of being a parent in the modern-day society is that we don't question the "busyness" and the never-ending "to-do". Taking on an unconscious belief that "we have no say!".
We have a say on how we spend our time. We have the power to reject "busy".
When we allow ourselves to be hijacked by "busy" or the "noise in our minds"; it is tempting to keep going and ignore the signs. There is a huge cost.
The cost is being short with the ones we love, feeling out of alignment within ourselves, and an experience of discomfort within our own being - always seeking, wishing and judging.
Yet, when we are in alignment - we see reality from a different lens. After all, we don't see the world as it is, we see the world as we are.
If we are patient, kind, compassionate with ourselves - that's the energy we bring to those around us, to the things we want to accomplish and achieve, and to the challenges that meet us.
If we are consumed with worry, guilt, shame, filled with obligation, and being impatient - that's the energy we bring to those around us, to the things we want to accomplish and achieve, and to the challenges that meet us.
Your inner world matters.
Your inner world creates your outer world - yet we are always trying to shift and alter our external world so that our inner world can feel better. That sometimes works - however, we are then consistently placing our power to other people, circumstances, and things. A real sense of self and worthiness cannot be cultivated if we're continually looking for external validation and approval.
When we are kind to ourselves - especially when our conscious mind thinks we are undeserving of it - we know how to hold space for others when they are going through hurt and pain. Especially our children, our partner/ spouse, and those that matter to us.
Yes, there is no manual for parenting - and if there was; there would be a chapter on - "Learn to be kind to yourself."
Being kind to yourself is the source of empathy. Empathy is the access to connection.
When you are kind, you are no longer in the domain of judging or having a busy mind thinking five steps ahead (and taking you out of being present); you choose patience over impatience, you choose forgiveness and understanding over judgement and criticism.
When you are kind, you love yourself that much more. You are gentle with your learning journey, you can create space for mistakes or misfortunes - from a place of grace, you learn to overcome from a place of love.... and you are an inspiration to your child that they are worthy of being kind to themselves.
So my gorgeous friend - I invite you to be kind to yourself.... and if you think you are undeserving, I invite you to imagine your child looking up to you and saying; "I don't deserve kindness...". How would that make you feel?.. You are worthy of kindness as much as your child does too.
...And if you are kind to yourself, I acknowledge you. Allow yourself to receive the acknowledgement. Bathe in the knowingness that the kindness you give to yourself is being felt and received by those around you. Celebrate you.
... I send you love. I send you joy. I am grateful for your kindness and generosity for reading these words.