How to quit screaming at your child just like your mother did for you...
Another day full of screaming. Full of rage - and the guilt kicks in. The shame kicks in. It's relentless. It's a vicious cycle.
You know that screaming and yelling isn't working, yet you still do it. And the more you do - the more guilty you feel.
And you somehow think the reason for the tension is because you're not spending enough time with your children.
Let's get something clear. Your successes and wealth aren’t the reason your child is acting up.
It’s not that you’re spending too much time on your business or not being around enough. It’s not a “quantity of time” challenge that is seeking a solution. Or the difficulty in choosing between your child and your passion.
And… The issue isn’t the lack of love. As you look around, you have given them everything that you thought they could ever want. It was what you might have wanted as a child.
And we don’t know, what we don’t know.
A big part of healing your connection with your child is being able to understand the core issue.
The core issue is being able to "know how to love"…. And if we don’t know "how to love", our love wounds the other.
The “love” that you’re giving your child is wounding both you and them.
You can feel it. It is the reason you’re continuously reminded of your fractured relationship with your parents.
And so… the “lack of Love” isn’t the issue - it’s the refusal to acknowledge that your child is hurting as much as you - and therefore unable to “receive” your Love.
As a parent, this hurts. It really hurts.
We are all doing the best we can - if only our children can acknowledge it. Right?
Your child is feeling the same thing.
Whether they are 3 or 6 or 16. If you feel the disconnection - so do they.
Most of us don’t have a grasp on “how to love”.
We love another based on how we want to be loved and what we think they want, not based on how the other wants us to love them, and what they actually want.
There are only ever 3 places in which we express ourselves in the relationship with our child.
- Our wounded inner-child
- Our depleted, unfulfilled and stressed-out adult self (Perfectionist, Disease to Please, Running on empty)
- Our Higher Self
When we are parenting from our wounded inner-child or our depleted, unfulfilled and stressed-out adult self is the reason why we are unaware of “how we love”.
Here’s how to open up the channel to connect to your Higher Self - and parent from that place:
- Have an intimate understanding, mind, body, and spirit around what it means to “heal” generational wounds.
This means, stop trying to “fix” yourself. You are already whole. Healing isn’t about fixing. The moment you can accept where you are, feel connected to who you are and let go of this addiction to “fixing”, the wounds become wisdom.
“The wholehearted know how to be vulnerable and ask for help” - I remember hearing this from Brene Brown’s Ted talk over a decade ago. This thought came to me, “I don’t know how to ask for help”. The idea of asking for help was foreign. There were many stories I had around it. I was going through a divorce at the time and having had a pattern of dysfunction around relationships in my family - I was committed it will stop with me.
There is a Science to it. And it is simple. It is based on this process. Meet Fear, with Love. Everyone can master it and you don't need to spend 1,000 days working it out. I can share my process with you.
- To restore and create a brand new connection with your child, conversations need to be had.
As you heal your own inner-child, you’ll be able to connect with your current child.
The memory of your childhood carries an emotional resonance that lives in your body. Liberate that emotion, and you liberate yourself from your past.
My clients often get to me after they’ve rehashed the trauma and the stories waiting for the time when they would be free from “I’m not enough, “I’m unworthy, I’m unwanted, and I’m unlovable”.
What I discovered is that there is one critical and key component to healing and transformation that many don’t teach, or know how to teach effectively.
If we were to jump on a quick call, I could show you specifically what it is for you, as it’s different for different people. All of our pain is not alike.
The triggers that arise between the child and you - have nothing to do with your child - and everything to do with the energy that is blocked within your body that rises to the surface. Wouldn’t it be nice to have that gone?
- To sit and feel the feelings - It requires an incredibly safe space. A space that another can hold free from judgement, free from opinion, and be entirely objective and compassionate with a great understanding of the human condition.
We are afraid to lean in and feel. Most people want to “fix” challenging emotions. That’s where we continue to become stuck.
The moment we master our emotional body, where we can lean into the emotional memory of our past hurt, we heal future generations. Heal your heart, and you alter the trajectory of your family.
Every time we can meet our Fear with Love, every time we are able to master the emotional charge that lives within our bodies - we have Quantum Leaped.
One thing that must be understood though is our body DOESN’T want to Quantum Leap.
And that’s when the value of someone holding space is priceless.
There is an aspect of all of this that you can't solve on your own.
The most significant result parents get with me is that their family life is fulfilling. They love who they are as a parent. Their children feel connected to them. They are thriving - AND it doesn’t take time away from their business. This fulfilment then transcends into all the areas of life - they even see their businesses soar. Parenting is no longer about survival or that one area of life that is numbing and heartbreaking.
Mostly, they connect to Parenting - and find joy in it.... and their children finally listening to them is the absolute bonus - and the screaming, the rage, the resentment, the guilt, the shame, the cycle is broken.
If you want mastery, I can help you.
You can find out more & apply here --->
https://yummiiongtran.
Truth is, the disconnection doesn’t get easier unless you do something about it. It gets worse.
The good news is, through this process, the judgemental voice you hear from your parents will too, disappear. That’s real healing and liberation.
You won’t find this anywhere else. It really is a brand new paradigm of parenting. It's Quantum Parenting.
Because... You would know by now, visualising and meditation doesn't seem to be working. You're still raging at your child... or at your parents... or at yourself about your parenting.
Reach out.