I'm 22 years old. I felt empty. I hated being in my own skin - in fact, I was certain there was something wrong with me. I looked around at everyone else around me and the following thoughts go through my head:
- Why don't I have it all figured out?
- Why am I so broken?
- I feel like a fraud
- No-one can love me for me
As I approach 40, I look back and I want to hug the 22 year old version of me. In fact, I want to hug the 16 year old version of me that thought I was broken and the 22 year old version of me that felt unworthy and unlovable.
I wish I was more kind - to me.
The 22 year old me was constantly seeking approval and validation - seeking acknowledgement. My self-worth was placed in the hands of others. Their opinion mattered more than my own opinion.
I didn't know that my opinion could matter.
What does this have to do with Motherhood? Everything.
At 29 - I had the biggest revelation. I am deserving of love. I am open to receiving love. I allow love in.
The other revelation - to love another, is a gift. I will never again, take for granted the opportunity it is to love another.
These two revelations transformed my view of relationships. All relationships. Romantic, Friendships, and now, Motherhood.
I learnt that in order to allow love in, to be deserving of love, I had to be kind to myself. I had to learn how to have compassion - and it is in being kind and compassionate to myself that I can truly access unconditional love.
You can only give what you have. And if there is no self-love, compassion, and kindness - the love you give may occur as conditional.
"To love another without knowing how to love them hurts the one you love." - Thich Nhat Hanh.
In Motherhood - we are learning "How to Love". We start with learning to Love and Understand ourselves.
....And this is the gift of Motherhood. All healing, all transformative, all expanding.
The one difference that separates a Mother who is surviving versus a Mother that is thriving, is her mindset.
In entering Motherhood - the themes of self-love, kindness, compassion, and understanding yourself makes all the difference to how we show up as a mother; and how the journey of motherhood unfolds.
Motherhood can occur as a job - a thankless self-sacrificing job; OR it can be crafted as an expression. An expression where we heal, transform and grow.
When we know better, we can do better.
We are not a product of our circumstances. We are a product of our choices. Our choices are based on our beliefs.
Change your beliefs. Change your reality.
I believe it is possible to soar and thrive through Motherhood.
Motherhood - can be an expression that we craft. We can choose to survive; or choose to thrive.