The capacity in which we can master "choosing our thoughts" is directly correlated to the reality we experience in this thing called life.
At any moment, we have a choice on how we think, what we think, and the thoughts that we choose to honour.
We do not need to give attention to every single thought.
I had spent a good few hours (close to 2 days) drafting up this week's newsletter, and it was something I was so excited to share. It was on the topic of creating a "shared vision" in parenting.
One of the biggest questions I get asked as a coach is; "How do I help influence my partner with conscious parenting - as we have very different parenting styles?". It's a question that's close to my heart, and I know the importance of creating a shared vision of parenthood.
I had crafted an answer that I couldn't wait to share - pressed "Save and Continue"- and then an error screen showed up. My heart sank. I knew what had just happened.
All that writing - which I didn't back-up or saved, lost. Just like that.
I have spent the last 15 minutes trying to retrieve it, finding a way back to it.
I then see this image on my FB feed; "Everything happens for a reason".
Here's what I chose to think - life is always working for me and with me.
I let it go - and moved on. Was I disappointed? Of course. And then I had a choice.
I can choose how to move on and let go so that I'm empowered or I can continue to hang onto "what was", "what has been" - and expend energy on being more frustrated and disappointed.
Honestly - I felt defeated, and I didn't want to write the newsletter again. I thought; "Would anyone notice if it didn't go out this week?! - Would anyone care?!"...
I then remembered - I care. I notice. The Motherhood Mindset and sharing these thoughts on conscious parenting, ideas on how families and parents can thrive - matter to me.
I choose to believe:
"Life is always working for me".
Is it the truth for everyone? No.
Is it everyone's reality? No.
Does it make it any less valid that I could be the only person in the world that takes on this belief? Absolutely not.
It's a reality that I choose to live out. Because - we are all living out a version of reality that lives in our minds.
Here's what I believe about parenting.
The beautiful opportunity of parenting is that it is a mirror reflecting to you the health of your mind, body, and soul.
I believe that parenting doesn't make you "less of you" or that you "lose yourself" when you become a parent. I believe parenting is a domain that's showing you the shadows that live within so that you can shine a light and meet these parts of you with compassion, love, and forgiveness.
I believe that parenting is healing, as it is transformative. It can genuinely be used as a powerful foundation to uncover limiting beliefs, unlearn all that doesn't serve us and a guiding light that allows us to live our truth - in mind, body, and spirit.
When parenting is a struggle, filled with survival, frustration and angst, it's a strong indication that we are "neglecting" ourselves; and we are denying our mind/ body/ and spirit of nourishment.
The experience of "thriving" cannot be created from a place of guilt, shame, obligation, resentment - and living life on auto-pilot.
.... So.. a contributing factor to why we may find ourselves having different parenting styles or not on the same page with parenting comes down to one or both parents "neglecting" to nourish their mind/body/ spirit.
You may have been able to neglect your mind/ body/ spirit before you became a parent, and when you become a parent, that habit needs to be kicked to the curb if you are committed to thriving - and create a shared vision of parenthood.
Before we can create a shared vision - we must do the inner work. We can't do the inner work from a place of feeling unworthy, running on empty and living day-by-day on auto-pilot.
I believe that our children want us to thrive as parents. They have a desire that we love and enjoy parenting as much as we want to live out that desire for ourselves.
What do you believe about parenting? Do your beliefs empower you? Do your beliefs expand you - and pave the way for joy?
Are your beliefs on parenting fuelling growth and asking you to show up as your best self - OR are your beliefs keeping you in survival and getting by the day?
Do you believe you are worthy of thriving? Do you believe you are enough? Do you believe, that we live in a friendly and loving universe - where life is wanting to work for you and with you?
This may not have been the original words, flow, or intention of what I wanted to share - and I trust in divine intervention. That may be, someone out there needed this message more than the previous.