Lying awake and beating myself up at night...

Hello beautiful soul!

Yesterday I shared "responsibility". Responsibility is powerful... and it's a really beautiful thing. 

Misunderstanding what it truly means to be responsible - and collapsing it with blame (especially blaming ourselves) kills connection.

And .... if you're struggling with guilt - or feeling as though you're not doing enough - it's REALLY hard...and impossible to enjoy the company of anyone. 

Meet Stef. She used to lie awake and beat herself up at night. Feel responsible for everyone and everything. It was consuming...

Here are her words on the journey of truly embodying what it is to be "responsible" - and own her ability to respond. 

When I started to work with Yummii, I was 3 weeks away from having my second son. I had struggled with my first son for a few years because he triggered so much anger and frustration in me.

I had read conscious parenting books, completed spiritual online courses and did daily meditation and intention setting.

Yet somehow, even though I had gained all this knowledge, I was not able to embody it.

I just couldn't understand what I was doing wrong and I was feeling so guilty that I couldn't treat my little boy better.

I knew the theory yet I lacked in practice. But I didn't know why and how.

Before I met Yummii, my life as a mum was filled with guilt.

We had joyful times of course, but I felt like a fraud as if I fake good times.

I was the yelling parent, not just my little boy but my partner too. 

I blamed, I resented, I was fighting. My emotions were triggered easily and it showed up as pain in my body. I was tired, I was ashamed and felt so guilty I couldn't do better.

Before I had my first child, for years I had already been involved in personal growth studies. I was happy, created a joyful life experience and was making conscious choices.

Then, the older my first son got, the more I changed.

I wanted to be me again- all the time, not just when I had "me time".

It was a constant internal and external struggle and I needed help to go deeper and be myself again- as a woman and as a mother. I wanted to love my life and my family and not be angry at them or myself.

If I didn't do Yummii's Mastermind, I would've continued living from my head, continually questioning and doubting myself and what I do during the day, how I treat myself and my child.

Am I good enough? Am I doing good enough? I would've kept beating myself up in my head, full of regrets. I would've kept leashing out my kids and I definitely would not be able to enjoy my new baby as much as I am.

Because of the Mastermind, I got a second chance. 

I love my little baby and I am so grateful that I have a second chance at spending so much time with this little human.

I'm a completely different mother than I was with my first one. I am so proud of myself that I have learnt to love, and actually, learn what love means.

I love spending time with my baby, just being present.

While with my first one I couldn't enjoy it, was always rushing and somehow never getting things done, nothing I ever did felt good enough, not allowing myself to enjoy baby time back then.

It took me a bit longer to build the connection I want to have with my older one but today I am happy with the way we are together.

I am also really enjoying all I have learnt about myself and how to hold space for myself, recognise my pattern, nurture myself and connect to my heart and Higher Self.

I have changed how I do things - I choose based on if it will be a joy for me and I slowly re-learnt what playfulness means.

I do a lot of the same things every day, like cooking breakfast, tidying up, talking with my kids. But now it all feels different, I have peace of mind because I have learnt to trust my heart.

I have learnt to enjoy myself so I can enjoy the moment more.

I have learnt that putting myself and my emotions first is not selfish, it is self-less.

Life may look the same on the outside, but on the inside, it has changed completely and I love it.

I love feeling my emotions arise, allowing them, allowing my thoughts, meeting myself where I am at and meeting fear with love. It's amazing.

Reading a book, a poem or a song, all has a deeper meaning now that I can literally feel in my body.

I feel like my body has rewired as so many emotional (chemical) reactions in certain situations have completely changed. Instead of anger, there is now calm. I now have space to respond the way I choose to and I love that.

Yummii's coaching is amazing. I would approach her with a challenge that I couldn't see a way out of and she beautifully coached me, resolving and dissolving the initial issue. She is incredible.

I could let go of many layers of trauma, feel the relief and live the situation out in a loving way- to myself and others.

"Is this loving to myself?" or "What would be loving to me" seem like simple questions but they make a whole lot of a difference when really applied - This is what Yummii teaches us to embody.

Yummii's wisdom comes from a higher place and I can feel it every time I listen to her.

After going through the Mastermind, my relationship with my sons are honouring, trusting, connected.

I can hold space for the intense emotions and allow them to experience what they experience without the need to "fix them".

I enjoy my relationship with myself so much, I am so proud of myself and I feel a lot lighter, at ease and trusting.

I don't lay awake at night anymore, beating myself up in my mind. I am so proud that I have learnt to look after myself moment by moment and hold space for myself.

I am so proud of myself that I allow myself to have an open heart, receive all that comes to me and appreciate how easy life can feel like.

Life feels a lot clearer to me now, having let go of all the burden that wasn't me and wasn't even from me in the first place.

Yummii is the most beautiful human being to work with. Her presence, her wisdom, her ability to be fully present and wholehearted is purely amazing as a teacher, coach and role model.

She truly lives by example and just being in her presence makes an enormous difference.

Everyone you touch is so blessed, Yummii. Thank you for helping me change my life!

The work you're avoiding to do is the work that's actually needed.

It's time to put the awareness into actual practice. 

My mission is for people to come home to themselves - so they can experience being loved and receiving that love, they can experience giving love from a place of overflow.....and that's how we really change the world.

Being committed to the quality in which we Love.

.....and truly - that's what it means to heal generation wounds.

Are you ready to come home to yourself? You've got the awareness - it's time to embody it and integrate it. I know the path. Reply to this email and let's connect.

Sending love,

Yummii xx 

PS Have you seen my incredible 27-minute training that walks through the steps of exactly what to do to break free from triggers/ blame/ guilt and learning to love yourself more? Watch it here.