There are 97 days left until the end of 2019.
So far in 2019.... how did you live? ...and how did you love?
As part of The Motherhood Mindset Online course, I run a monthly Facebook Live Q&A and explore a specific topic.
This month's workshop is on "Thriving". Not just in parenthood - in life.
When it comes to motherhood and life - these are the common descriptors. Busy. Juggling. Doing it all. Guilt. No time. Exhausting.
Motherhood is either something you love - at the cost of your career or wellbeing. Or something you feel you're not doing great at .... but hey, other things are amazing like your career.
The most important areas of your life may compete for your time and attention. To reach that state of flow almost occurs as an impossibility - or something limited to the "lucky few".
Rarely, are these the descriptors of Motherhood: Thriving. Empowered. Soulful. Spirited.
Now, I want to be clear on one thing - you can have challenges and thrive. There will be many moments you feel uncomfortable and unsure - and can choose to be empowered.
....AND making mistakes or failing does not take away from the focus of living from your soul and feeling highly spirited in life.
A real appreciation and knowingness around challenges, uncertainty, the unknown, the willingness to grow and expand are contributing to living a life where you are thriving and feeling empowered.
I believe we feel alive, attuned, integrated with life and in-flow - when we are in LOVE. Not romantically. What I'm referring to is to be in love with our experience of life. To be in love with who we are and our efforts in showing up in life.
To get a gauge on how you lived and how you loved - Reflect on the year so far.
What percentage do you think you lived in Fear? What percentage do you think you lived in Love?
Your life is an ecosystem. Your relationships, your wellbeing, your choices, your connection to yourself, your will, your energy - everything is integrated.
Compartmentalising our life doesn't work.
If work occurs as something stressful, consuming, and demanding - that energy flows into other areas of life.
If your relationship with your partner/ spouse is spent more in conflict and resentment versus love and appreciation - that energy flows into your parenting and your sense of self or belonging.
If your relationship with yourself is mediocre - you're not eating well, sleeping well, thinking well - that's the energy you're bringing to all the areas of your life.
The good news is you can always start where you are to choose to make tomorrow better. Living a beautiful life, living a life that you love - is your birthright - and it takes conscious energy to craft. It also takes a commitment to mastering self-awareness.
Being a parent is one of the most priceless gifts that our children have created for us. Without them, we can't be a parent.
Parenting is like the coach that is continuously kicking your butt - you love and can sometimes loathe. You love how it expands you, creates an opportunity for growth and empowerment... and maybe you loathe the process and effort of what it takes - because you have to consistently dig so deep and get beyond your limiting behaviours and beliefs.
You get the gift of exercising choice. To choose love. To choose joy. To choose forgiveness. To choose compassion. To choose kindness. To choose to see the good. To choose to grow. To choose to let go of perfection, judgement, shame, guilt.
... And here's that last thing I want to say about parenting. Once you become a parent, this is it for life. It's not like any other relationship where you can "walk away"....and so in knowing this - Do you commit to master it? Do you see it as a gift and a privilege, or is it more a "tick-in-the-box".... and how does this make you feel?
What's the impact of this feeling and how it feeds into your ecosystem called life?
Parenting can be an awareness tool to inform how we live and how we love.
When I am short with Avery, when I don't have patience with him - that's an indication I am out of alignment within myself, and most probably, there's something within me that I'm frustrated by or feeling a lack of control.
If I'm triggered by Avery in terms of time "we need to rush to get somewhere" - I've either over-committed myself or am focused on what someone else thinks of me or the fear of being judged.
If I'm yelling, sighing, trying to control a circumstance with Avery, or about to get angry - I know, mind, body, and spirit are in Fear.
My experience with Avery is the barometer of whether I'm living in Fear or Love.
Is perfectionism and obligation at the wheel OR is joy and play in the driver's seat? Only one state of consciousness can ever be running the show at the moment. Love or Fear. This is in our power.
We would never want to hurt the ones we love - and we are at our best when we are loving.
We are most loving - when we are inspired and in love with ourselves and in life.
Think about it - in those testing moments of parenting, if you were inspired by who you are and if you were so in love with life, how would you show up differently? How would you choose to act from Love when your child is in Fear mode?
If you're in a loving state - would you react, or would you have the mastery and awareness in choosing your words and actions?
....Btw... Being loving isn't being permissive. Love gives you clarity on what truly matters and gives you the courage to stand in discomfort and expand.
When we are permissive - we are in Fear mode. Fear of the loss of love from our child, fear of them crying and being upset, fear of sitting with their discomfort.
This isn't about a pursuit of perfection or a life free from challenges. Far from it. Perfection is FEAR.
This is knowing that we are on an adventure called life - and that the experience is OURS to craft.
With 97 days left of 2019 - how did you want to close the year? How do you want to live the remaining days of 2019 - and how are you going to show up with love?
Remember, we are at our best when we are loving. Love manifests itself as inspiration, joy, clarity, power, and a deep respect and connection to our being.
You can start where you are. Use your experience of parenting as a reflection point. What mirror is your child holding up? What awareness is asking to come out of the shadows and into the light?
...and how would it feel, to be so in love with life and with who you are?
When you love life, life loves you back.
I'm sending you lots of love... and let's flood the remaining days of 2019 with Love.