Part 1 - "Have you been sad for a very long time?"
Hello beautiful soul!
This is a story about the two wolves that live inside us.
It's breakfast time.
Avery had just finished creating a wooden train set before eating...
Brooklyn wants to do what his brother is doing.
Brooklyn wants to join in and build something too.
Those with little ones know exactly what happens next.
Brooklyn is trying to build something, and as he is still learning, he accidentally knocks over something Avery made.
Avery goes to kick him and pushes him over.
We do our usual; I pick Brooklyn up and away from the scene.
A few moments pass, and things have calmed down.
We say; "I saw you were mad... It really upset and frustrated you that Brooklyn knocked over your creation - I would be too..and... you're allowed to get angry and upset - and we don't hurt people with our anger."
Today, Avery responded differently. Something in the way he looked at me.
They both walked over to their table for breakfast.
He is trying to eat however I could sense something was off...
I continue to observe Avery.
I feel into his energy... and the following words came out...
"You've been feeling sad for a really long time...."
He looks down at his bowl, purses his lips, and I can feel the "holding it in" sensation.
A tear forms in one eye.
He then looks over at me.
I then asked, "Does it have to do with Brooklyn?".
He nodded.
"I know you love Brooklyn. You're not in trouble.... ". He looked away. I got it wrong. That wasn't what was troubling his heart.
"Did you want to talk about it?" I continued asking.
He nodded, and then he looked over at Brooklyn.
"You want to talk about it but not with Brooklyn here?"
He nodded again. I asked John to take Brooklyn away.
I leaned in closer to Avery and held his hands.
"So you've been feeling sad for a long time - and it's been since Brooklyn has been around?"
He nods.
I always understood that children experience grief when a sibling arrives. However, what I felt from him was a little different... This wasn't grief.
I continued to probe. I started to reflect... and tune into what had just happened.
"Do you feel bad when you can't control your body when you're upset?"
He looks up, closes his eyes, tries not to cry... however, the tears come.
I hug him closer...
"Do you feel like a bad person when you kick or punch Brooklyn, and you don't mean it, but you can't help it?"
He nods.
"Has this been making you sad for a while?"
He is now trying really hard to hold back the tears.
"Does it make you feel worse when mummy or daddy says, 'you can get angry, and you are not allowed to kick or hurt Brooklyn'?"
He says, "Yes" quietly.
"Are you confused on why you can't stop your body, and you feel out of control?"
He said yes.
"I understand..... You know, mummy and daddy all have that too. We all have two wolves inside of us... All of us."
I continued on..."Have you been trying to stop your body - you don't know what's going on and why your body just wants to fight - and it makes you feel like a really bad person?"
And there it is.
What he has been troubled by - finally coming to the surface.
It finally felt "safe" to arise.
The tears fall. The experience of shame comes through.
The idea that "he is a bad person" - and thinking that it is so unique to him... that no-one else can understand.. .and the "heaviness" of it all - that's what we ALL go through.
It's the two wolves that live inside of each and every one of us.
I hug him closer.
I'm reminded that his shame isn't mine to own or fix... and I can guide him on how to navigate it.
Stay tuned for Part 2.
Sending love,
Yummii xx
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