The gift of the internal struggle

Uncategorized Feb 13, 2020

Firstly - Thank-you.

Thank you for reading, for being on this journey of exploring and having Motherhood be a foundation of healing, transformation, and an access to being our best selves.

I'm humbled that I get to write and share - and that you give your time so generously in reading and digesting these words. 

Find comfort that if these words resonate with you - You're not alone. Whatever you're going through, thinking, or working through - we're in this together.

Equally - acknowledge yourself. There is tremendous courage and vulnerability that's needed to be on this path.

Most conversations around Motherhood are about self-sacrifice, the sleep deprivation, and survival - and you're choosing to be awakened to a different alternative.

What you have to know is that YOU, by you opening up these emails and being a part of "this new wave of Motherhood" that is The Motherhood Mindset, I know you are challenging the "traditional" paradigm of parenting. It is challenging going against the grain - and every thought or belief that moves from Fear to Love is to be celebrated. 

Living from Love is when we thrive.

If you thrive, your family thrives, your children thrive. 

The other day I saw this question posted on Facebook; "Do you feel that you have to choose between your career and Motherhood?".

Of course, what followed were 100's of comments - the majority - said yes. 

  • "I had to give up my career."
  • "I had to put my career on hold." 
  • "I didn't give up my career, and I feel so guilty."

The above were the prevailing sentiments.

The internal struggle that presents itself when we enter into Motherhood and parenting; "I don't feel like myself"... "What is my life going to be about?" ... "Are my dreams no longer valid?"... 

Let me propose something - what if the internal struggle is a gift? Rather than a hindrance that's forcing you to choose between A or B?

What if the internal struggle is seeking to be liberated by a different perspective rather than the world of "compromise"?

This internal struggle is often seen through the lens of Fear. It is usually solved as "Win/ Lose", and there's a justification along the lines of; "that's just the reality of it".

We solve the internal struggle by "logic". And we call it "reality". 

We are never victims of our circumstances. We can "choose" to be a victim of our circumstances OR we can "choose" to rise above it. 

What I know for sure, with 100% resolve is that when we are faced with an internal struggle - it is an opportunity for expansion. 

It is an opportunity to dig deep, look internally, and be guided by our higher, truest self.

It is knowing that everything you need to take the next most powerful step or action is within you.

It isn't solved by compromise. It isn't solved by logic.

Our circumstances aren't here to trap us.

The internal struggle can always be transcended by Love, by your inner wisdom, and by the willingness to know that you are worthy of living your best life.

So - what does your best life look like?

  • What are you doing?
  • What do you get to experience?
  • What song is your heart longing to sing and share with the world?

Powerful questions lead to powerful answers.

The only problem with these powerful questions is that once you start the enquiry - ignorance is no longer bliss ;) - You then break the bonds of blame, resentment, being a victim or being a martyr. Hiding behind the blame, resentment, being a victim and martyr loses its appeal.

Besides being a catalyst to ask yourself the powerful questions, the internal struggle has another gift.

That is the gift of confronting and healing the grip of feeling unworthy/ undeserving, not enough, and the need for validation/ approval or "being a good girl/ wife/ partner/ spouse".... and the story of "I need to be perfect to be loved". Any of them resonate?

Einstein says; "Logic can take you from A to B, BUT imagination can take you everywhere.".

Parenting isn't here to kill our imagination on what's possible for our lives. Parenting is here and is asking us to RISE ABOVE our own inherited or self-imposed limitations so that our lives are lived from a place of pure potential and infinite possibilities - which can only be tapped into by our imagination.

Imagination requires courage. Imagination requires vulnerability.

Imagination requires you to break the habit of allowing the grip of unworthiness/ undeserving, not enough, hunger for validation/ approval/ perfection to guide your life.

Imagination also requires you to move from the belief that your self-worth is dependant on what you do and have to the belief that your self-worth is independent of what you do and have

From there, anything is possible.

You would never ask your children to justify their self-worth or betray themselves and what their hearts desire - so don't do it to yourself. 

So if you're facing an internal struggle - I ask you to see it from the lens of Love.

Be open to seeing the gift that lives in the internal struggle - and that it wants you to RISE up, not betray your heart or feel as though it's a win/lose battle. 

I don't believe in sacrifice. I believe in powerful choices. 

The latter - that requires listening to your inner wisdom, trusting your higher-self, and giving yourself permission to know you are worthy of a beautiful life. A life that is free from betraying yourself.

Where in your life right now, are you betraying your heart? Don't know where to start - Ask yourself; "In what area of life do I feel guilt, resentment, blame, sacrifice, and suffering?"... See what unfolds.

Transformation is hard at first, messy in the middle and magnificent in the end.


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