The "one" question to reflect on for 2020

Reflection is a powerful tool. When we reflect, we bring greater awareness to our actions, our words and our thoughts. 

During this time, we tend to reflect on the year that has passed. 

There is one question that guides my reflection and learnings for the year.

"How did I Love?"

Did I love with all my heart? Or, did I allow my heart to harden?

Did I love who I was through challenging moments? Or, did I meet my fears, pain, and hurts with judgement, shame, and guilt?

How kind was I to me in the moments, I faltered? Or, did I continue to be my own worst critic keeping loyal to the wounds of "I'm not enough, I'm unworthy, I'm a disappointment, and my needs don't matter?"

My measure of "success" is based on my capacity to be guided by my heart and allow Love in. 

It wasn't always this way. It only became this way when I became a parent. 

One thing I know for sure, within every part of my being, and within my cells is this - Our children are trying to get us to "wake-up" and learn how to love ourselves. 

For when we love ourselves, when we give up betraying ourselves, we love them from our best-self. 

In 2016, the year I became a mother, I wrote a letter to my future self. I remembered that version of me in 2016.

She was doing all the inner work, program after program, course after course and the peace of mind, that stillness that she was seeking seemed impossible.

The voices of not being enough, being unworthy, being a disappointment, being a failure, always falling short, feeling alone, comparing, judging was loud.

Being Avery's mother, I was more clear and determined to learn to "love thy self".

In 2016, I wrote a letter to my future self. It was a letter to my future self in 2020 dated by me in 2016. Here is an excerpt.

"Dear Yummii - I am so proud of you. You have grown to understand "wholeness". You now love who you are, are proud of who you are... You have surrendered, have faith, trusted and chose. Thank-you for going beyond your mind - and moving beyond your limitations. Thank you for getting us here - to this magnificent juncture. Here's to creation and LOVE."

Since becoming a mother, the only way I measure my "success" is; "How did I Love?"

I have found living from that wholehearted place, from a place being guided by Love - my world looks after me. It is the place that allows us to co-create with the universe. 

It is also the place that allows us to receive guidance and create a connection with our Higher Self. 

My intention is this. In 2021, you master meeting Fear, with Love. In 2021, instead of "creating a new you" - you know the you that is now is enough, is worthy of love, and is whole.

You don't need to have x,y,z or have achieved a,b,c to be worthy of being loved. You are enough as you are.

If 2020 was a year where you were loyal to a hardened heart, where you continuously chose self-betrayal, and couldn't allow love in - have compassion for yourself. Consider that lesson was needed.

As we enter in 2021, we can make a choice. A choice to be loyal to a heart that is whole. Where we choose self-love and embody the knowingness that we are more than enough and are worthy of being loved - just as we are.

The alternative is to choose to live from a hardened heart where we choose to be loyal to our stories, narratives, and thoughts of not being enough, unworthy, and continuing to betray ourselves.

So beautiful one, "How did you love?" in 2020....and what are you going to choose for 2021? Meeting Fear with Love OR choosing to be loyal to your narrative of not being enough?

It's all a choice.

Sending so much love to your family and you... I'm choosing 2021 to be a year deepening the mastery of meeting Fear, with Love.

I hope you join me on this journey.