The truth about parenting

We can't approach parenting as we do in a romantic relationship or friendship.

Parenting is a very unique relationship - where as a parent, you are 100% responsible for the disconnect up until they are at least 21.

If you're 100% responsible for the disconnect, you're also 100% responsible for the connection... and you're 100% responsible for the space you hold.

If you want mental, emotional and Spiritual mastery - it's right there in your parenting.

When I say we are 100% responsible as parents... this is what I mean.

Your child's brain isn't fully developed until 35.

At 21... it's starting to mature...

And before then, to expect a "brain" that hasn't fully developed to be able to bring 100% to a relationship is an expectation from you that is unreasonable and unfair to them.

It's not different to expecting a car to work when the engine isn't in, there is no petrol, or the wheels aren't on.

Now... I'm not saying our children don't say things that hurt or act out in unreasonable ways.
And it's up to the parents to GUIDE them...

The effectiveness of our influence and our guidance is directly correlated to the experience of Wholeness we have for ourselves.

You see... when it comes to the teenage years, where most parents trip up is wanting their teenager to see them, to hear them, to understand them...

They are wanting approval and validation from their teenager. Insane right?!... and yes... it's so common.

We have replaced our need for validation and approval from our parents and projected it onto our teenagers.

"Don't you see how much I'm doing for you?"
"Don't you see how much I have sacrificed for you?"
"I'm doing this ALL for you...."

ANYTIME we say anything with that tone, with that energy - we have lost the influence or the ability to guide them....and we are now a teenager, parenting our teenager.

Your parents did that to you... and you're just passing that behaviour on.

And even if you're not speaking these words, if your energy is communicating this, they will pick it up. 

As a parent, when we want to be seen, heard, and understood by our children... THAT'S THE WORK.

That's the gap between Wholeness and you.

Because it's not your child's job to see you, hear you or understand you.

And anytime you have that with your children, you're parenting your child from a place of lack and a void within you.

You can be extremely successful in your business life, and if your family life is out of order... You can lie to others... and you'll never be able to lie to yourself. 

That heartbreak, where you feel like you're failing as a parent... and lost on what to do next....and you're trying everything... that will always block you from fully experiencing joy and knowing who you truly are.

I'm going to share something that I know you already know... .and you're avoiding.

As a parent, you are 100% responsible for the repair.

Your child can't be... because they have no idea how to.

And they don't have the skillset nor the mental, emotional, and Spiritual consciousness to be able to do so.

And unconsciously, you are expecting that of them - because that was what was expected of you.

The very first thing as a parent that is humbling, and that is healing, is this.

Owning our stuff.
All of it.

Because until we own our stuff - that "stuff" gets in the way between our children and ourselves.

I'm not saying you have to love parenting... or love all aspects of it...

The freedom you're looking for, the peace you're looking for in your parenting, starts with "owning your stuff".

And herein lies the incredible gift of parenting.
Returning to our Wholeness.

It is ONLY from our wholeness that we're able to be the guide that our children need.

It is ONLY from our wholeness that our children will feel safe with us - so that they can open up....and they need that MORE than ever between the ages of 14-21.

It is ONLY from our wholeness that we are able to create a safe space for them to be themselves... and love who they are.

If we're in our Inner Wounded Child or parenting from our Depleted level of consciousness... We don't believe it is safe to be who we are.

In Wholeness - we're in our Heart.

And that's what our children are constantly yearning for. For us to be in our Hearts and hold that space for them... while they are in chaos.

It's not a mystery why there is a disconnection in your relationship with your child.

And if it feels like a mystery to you - you're not in Wholeness.

You're in Fight, Flight, Freeze or Fawn (Inner Wounded Child), or you're in Fixing/ Right vs Wrong/ Good vs Bad/ Fair vs Unfair (Depleted Parent) consciousness.....and all of that is from the Mind.

Your child isn't a problem to fix.

They are a being that's needing to be loved.

And you struggle to bring understanding and love to that being when you can't see them for who they truly are... and seeing them based on their actions and behaviours.

Your child will rise up, show up and meet you based on the consciousness in which you perceive them.

See them through the consciousness of your Inner Wounded Child, and you see them as something where you're in complete survival.

See them through the consciousness of your Depleted self, and you see them as a problem that needs to be fixed - and you have enmeshed your worthiness based on their emotional state.

See them through the consciousness of Wholeness....and witness them come home to who they are, take off their armour, and rest in the safety of your Love.

Wholeness it the GIFT that comes with parenting.

Get your family life in order... especially with your parenting.... and watch the ripple that flows out from returning to your Wholeness.

I know this to be true.
Wholeness is the place where your life will have the most harmony.

Sending love,
Yummii xx

PS If you're parenting from your Inner Wounded Child and Depleted Parent - and want to know how to parent from Wholeness, this free training is for you. 27 mins - will shift your perspective on parenting.