What every parent needs to know

This is my wish for every parent... and what every parent needs to know.

It takes a minimum of 21 years to raise a child into an adult.

And even at 21, they aren't a full adult.

An "adult" fully emerges at around 28.

We ALL have 7-year cycles... however, the 7-year cycles aren't always completed, AND they are needed to build on top of each other.

That's why most parents find it challenging to connect with their teenagers. 

NOT because their child became a teenager - and everything to do with the years beforehand. 

Imagine building a house.

You can have the most amazing architecturally designed house, you can have the most incredible plants and vision of landscape gardens - and if the foundation isn't prepared, the soil isn't healthy, the ground isn't stable - the house and landscape gardens will not last.

Most parents don't realise that the "adult" experience they wish for their children takes 21 years to cultivate. It's a 21-year investment (minimum). In energy. In healing. In commitment. In Love.

Here are the key focus areas for each 7-year cycle:

Ages 0-7 - Safety and Security.

Ages 7-14 - Joy and Intuition.

Ages 14-21 - Empowerment.

These building blocks are the foundation of "Trusting" oneself. 

If you struggle with trusting yourself - all we need to do is measure against these building blocks.

The frustration, impatience, and intolerance we have for our children's behaviour are because we don't have the muscle memory, brain patterning, or access to our Heart to know what's needed to transmute it.

There is NO such thing as "terrible twos"

There is NO such thing as "they are being teenagers!"

Our intolerance and impatience is not on them. YES, it can be challenging - and if you don't know how to swim, and you were pushed into the pool, the reason you're drowning is not because of the pool. It's because you don't know how to swim. 

The reason adults label children - is because it's easier to blame the behaviour - than to dig deep and take ownership of what's out of alignment within ourselves.

Because taking ownership isn't something we have been taught. We have been taught to "blame", rather than take ownership.

Without the experience of safety, security and being grounded in our bodies, the knowing of allowing ourselves to feel Joy and be intune, without being in power and feeling autonomous - we don't trust ourselves. 

And if we don't trust ourselves - we won't trust life. 

And if we don't trust life - we don't trust that we can create life.

Feeling like a victim becomes more familiar than knowing I'm a creator. 

Here are some questions you can reflect and journal on, to see what needs to be met with Love. 

Scale 1-10:

- How safe do you feel to be you? 

- How grounded are you in being you?

- How much do you feel belonging?

- How much do you allow yourself to feel Joy?

- How much do you connect to your Intuition?

- How much do you listen and trust your inner guidance?

- How much do you take action from a place of Faith? and Joy?

Scoring between 9-10 on average, and you have Flow states in life. AND each of these are the building blocks to living from your Heart. 

In these states, this is where you are a magnet for co-creating with life. It doesn't mean you don't have challenges or that you're free from meeting your edges.... It means that you call forth challenges that are by design. 

And it's in these states that you make healthy choices.

And that's what we want for our children. 

And for our children to want for ourselves. 

Living your best life requires intention and energy. Being your best self and giving your child the best - isn't easy.

We are so addicted to how hard it is, to how lonely it is... and to how we are not enough.

And the only person that can end that addiction and get sober - is us.

The hardest part about parenting, that our children are DESPERATE for us to know - get sober from the suffering.

Get sober from putting yourself through heartache and pain, suffering, and compromise. 

Because it's what you wanted from your parents.

Sending love,
Yummii xx

PS I invite you to imagine how different your life would have been and your relationship with yourself if your parents felt safe and grounded, felt joy and lived from intuition, and felt empowered by life?

This isn't to judge them. 

However, if your parents truly trusted themselves, lived their best life, and felt proud of who they were - how would your life be different? How would they have supported and loved you differently? 

That's why parenting is hard. Not because of the child. Because our relationship with ourselves is the last priority on our list.