What matters to you?

Uncategorized Aug 20, 2019

If we were to ask people, what matters most to them - most would answer their husband/ wife, children, family, friendships, and living a beautiful and grateful life.

However, what we say can differ from what we do. The way we live our life tells a different story.

If we observe how we spend our time, and where we spend our time - what would the observer within us say what matters?

Are our actions, our minds, our thoughts, our words, how we show up day-to-day, and where we dedicate our energy - does it reflect what matters most to us? 

Does our life reflect what we say matters to us?

One area that "matters" to most people is parenting - and this area of life often gets consumed with "doing", "surviving", and "getting through the day".

My commitment to myself is to enjoy parenting, and like most parents, how I am as a parent and how I feel about myself as a parent matters to me.

I'm currently reading "Unconditional Parenting" by Alfi Kohn, and next on my list to is "Peaceful Parents, Happy Siblings" by Dr Laura Markham.

In the first eight weeks of Avery's life, I read when I was breastfeeding. I fed my mind with "Buddhism for Mothers", "The First 6 Weeks", and "The Wonder Weeks".

In preparing for Motherhood, I read "The Conscious Parent", "Bringing up Bebe", "The Parents Tao Te Ching" and "The 7 Spiritual Laws for Parenting". 

When I entered Motherhood, I sought advice from mothers or parents if their methods were based on research, neuroscience and psychology - and their parenting beliefs were aligned with John and mine. I still hold this view sacred today (and I DID NOT go to any online forums for advice!)

The other caveat - they inspired me as parents. I believed in their parenting, their family life, and their relationship with themselves.

....Does parenting matter to you?... Think about it before you answer. There isn't a right or wrong. The truth would set you free. 

So, I'm not sharing my reading list or my preparation to boast - there's an intention. Hear me out.

I'm clear that there are two possible ways in which we can do Motherhood.

We can enter motherhood either from a place of hope or fear - and no tools to deal with it. The roller-coaster of emotions and thoughts drives our experience. We allow our journey of Motherhood to be dictated by circumstances out of our control. Our emotions get the better of us. Motherhood is played out according to what we hear & what we see - and we don't question or challenge any of the conditioning that is around us.

The second way is my preferred way. To be empowered.

We may also enter motherhood from a place of hope or fear - AND, we equip ourselves to be empowered.

We build the capacity to make space for our emotions and thoughts - yet we aren't driven or hijacked. Our experience of Motherhood is dictated by empowering our inner world; we're doing the work - we make an effort to dig deep and go within; our inner world is the thing to master. 

The foundation of being able to be a powerful parent is this: Doing the inner work and having the courage to bring love to your fears.

I can choose to heal what there is to repair, or I'll run the risk of projecting my wounds onto my child.

John and I are about to become parents of two children. We've never done this before - and so much of it depends on being compassionate with each other on a learning journey. 

That's why I'm currently reading the books that I'm reading as part of the preparation.

Feeling empowered as a parent - whether it be of one child or two - is a non-negotiable value of mine. It matters to me. 

We live in a time where ignorance is no longer bliss - and there is an abundance of information out there to contribute to our wellbeing of life. 

"Nothing can prepare you for parenthood" isn't a valid excuse to be a struggling parent or surviving parenthood.

The problem isn't the lack of information - it's connecting to the "aligned" information AND then doing the inner work - rather than waiting and being a bystander in your life having something external solve your challenges.

So what matters to you? Is this reflected in the way you live life? Your energy? Your thoughts? Where are you a bystander in the areas of life that matter to you?

Are you a bystander in your Parenting? With your spouse/ partner? Your dreams and desires? Are you a bystander in crafting a beautiful life? - A life in which you love?

When we hold what matters to us with clarity, purpose, and high regard - our life is a reflection of our intention. The courage we thought we never had, rises to the surface — our will to transform is unstoppable. We aren't tempted or swayed by unconscious habits and beliefs.

Our connection to what matters becomes the driving force in our life.

When we have a deep connection to what matters to us - the hope for what matters is incredibly supported with an aligned mindset, knowledge that inspires us, and people and conversations that lift us towards making reality be a beautiful reflection what matters.

We empower ourselves - and we are empowered. 

False hope or longing can only live in a world of a bystander.

Thank you for reading this far. It takes courage - and it is a reflection of what matters to you. Being a better parent, partner, and having a desire to dig deep into creating a life that matters to you.

Grateful to be a part of your journey.

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