What really needs to go...

We often think it's about letting go of another person, or that job, or that belief.....

However, it starts with letting go of the identity of who we believe we are.

I often say to my clients, the quality of your life, is highly correlated to the quality of your relationships...

....and the quality of your relationships is 100% directly proportionate to the quality of your connection to Self.

Most of us aren't lying in bed and thinking about our connection to ourselves - nor do we prioritise it.

We haven't been taught how, nor have we been taught, this is a non-negotiable if you want a fulfilling life. 

We lie in bed thinking, why don't they love me, why don't they get me, when am I going to feel ok, what is my next step, what is it that I can't see.....?

We are mainly focused on what we're doing wrong, what we're not doing enough of, where we're falling short, feeling unworthy, and undervalued, thinking about things that don't matter and wasting energy on our opinion of other people's opinions on us or consumed with other people's drama.

NONE of that contributes to knowing thyself. All of that deflects from the truth of what will move the needle forward.

The only way your life can move forward is if you make what matters, matter. And what matters most - is your relationship to self and where you are living from. 

And as for being a parent, nothing matters more to the development and growth of your child than your relationship with yourself.

They are watching you. 

Are you kind to yourself?
Do you give yourself grace?
Do you honour the season you're in?
Are you compassionate with yourself?
Do you give yourself permission to rest?
Do you give yourself permission to celebrate?
Are you your own best friend?
Do you celebrate yourself?
Can you hold yourself accountable?
Can you forgive yourself?
Do you CHOOSE who you are?

Before you continue to read.... Pause - and really reflect on the above questions.

Give yourself a score out of 10. 

What does this have to do with letting go?

The "letting go" is never about that person, that place or that thing. Just like the "attainment" of it isn't going to give you the freedom, peace and relief you're looking for. 

What you're looking for is letting go of an identity that no longer serves you. 

There is an identity you hold onto that keeps a particular relationship you have with yourself alive.

You put up with a relationship you have within you, that is unkind, hard, critical, judgemental, demanding, harsh, abusive, disrespectful, and untrustworthy - of you.

How can we tell? How can we measure this...?

From the list above, where you scored yourself out of 10 - what can you see from your results?

Do you have a relationship with yourself that is one you would want for your children to have with themselves?

Are you ready for the crazier part?

The relationship you have with yourself - it's one you've had all your life and it's familiar.

The voice use to be either your mother's, your father's or another care taker that was influential to you growing up.

And now - it's just the way you speak to yourself. 

That relationship is the "most familiar" relationship you have. Not the healthiest, nor the one that will give you joy, freedom and love - and it's the one you're most use too. 

The only reason that relationship is still in place is because there is a pay-off. 

That pay-off is the identity you get to keep and be right about - that you believe is "truth" and you have never paused to question it. 

There is nothing more heartbreaking than breaking up with an old identity that doesn't serve us. 

The grief that comes up, is haunting.

Because it also means the death of craving for validation, approval, acceptance, belonging from those that we longed to be seen, heard, and understood - and we now know, it was never personal.

The moment we recognise, no-one can complete us... that seeking validation, love, approval, belonging from another is a lose-lose game that is insatiable... as it is fleeting - and is not the measure of Love.. 

That's  real freedom.
That's real peace.

I'm not saying there aren't moments of it and when it is given it is delicious and magical.... AND when our identity is no longer about the other, or dependent on the other - we create a very very different life. 

So let me ask you... What would open up when that the love you have been seeking all this time... has been from you to you? And you can receive this love?

What is possible for you, when you're no longer seeking Love from outside of you?

Here's what I know for sure... The moment you stop seeking for Love outside of you - you're no longer blocking Love from those that want to give it to you - and you're no longer looking for Love from those that can't give it to you.

... It's the same principal for everything in this Universe. Abundance. Wealth. Friendship. Connection. Health. 

Like Rumi says, "Your task is not to seek for love, but merely to seek and find all the barriers within yourself that you have built against it."

And that my friends, is the journey of shifting from living from your Mind to choosing to live from your Heart. 

Sending love,
Yummii xx

PS If you're ready for the journey from Mind to Heart - reach out. It's my genius. No one teaches it like I do. This is practical, grounded Spirituality.