Brene Brown's TED talk on The Power of Vulnerability had a profound impact on me. I was so intrigued about "wholehearted" living and what it means to have the experience of being "whole".
I watched it for the first time in 2012. When she shared that vulnerability is the access to connection and love, I started crying. I realised how hard it was for me to be vulnerable.
The example that she shared from her research that shook my core was this:
"Vulnerability is asking my husband for help"
At this point in my life - I had a lot of failed relationships. Being vulnerable was a challenge for me. I knew something had to shift.
In 2013, I embarked on exploration - 1000 days on Daring Greatly. For 1000 days, explore what it takes to be vulnerable, how to live wholeheartedly, and live from courage.
I wanted to master vulnerability. To master the art of what it takes to live wholeheartedly.
I loved that practice - and it opened my mind, heart, and soul in incredible ways.
However, the one thing that exponentially taught me "wholeness" was when I became a parent to Avery.
Wholeness is that space where all is well - nothing is lacking. There is peace with what is - and there is no resistance to life.
The mind isn't fixed in the past or focused on the future - Wholeness allows us to meet this moment exactly where it is.
I don't always get it right - Far from it. And it's a practice.
Our children are born from a place of wholeness. Their spirit and soul are full. In fact, overflowing. Over time, they learn lack from us. As though, this moment, where they are at, is not enough.
This has nothing to do with promoting parenting as a form of perfection.
Wholeness is when we can love and accept who we are - for everything that we are right now, everything that we are not, and know that we are worthy of love, of joy, and that our voice matters.
If we are committed to being our own best-friend - our children learn and cultivate that sense of wholeness in which every human being is born with.
My husband and I had a "date night" based on Marriage 365's model of questions (if you don't follow them already - they are a MAGICAL team! Love their wisdom), and one of the question in the list was; "What's your biggest regret in life?"
My answer; My biggest regret was not being my own best-friend a lot earlier in life. I remember being 9 years old and feeling so unloved. In fact, there were memories of feeling this way when I was as young as 4.
It's never too late to learn to love yourself.
I truly believe, the gift of Motherhood is to return to our wholeness. Motherhood invites us to heal the wounds, to forgive, and to return to that place of absolute divine Love in which we entered into this world.
Our child chose us. And we chose them. And together, we can be committed to mastery wholeness.
So what's your biggest regret in life?! And how do you think this regret plays out in Motherhood or family life now?